I surrender!
Eh?
I wonder what form of trickery
is up that miniature cyclops' sleeve this time.
All right, Plankton,
I don't know what you're trying to pull on me,
but I'll tell you right now, it ain't gonna work!
There's no pulling, Krabs.
Can't you see my peace offering?
What is this?
Ha-ha.
Very funny, Plankton.
But you're going to have to do a lot better
than taking a stab at my illiteracy to offend me.
Don't you get it, Krabs?
I give up.
I'm through competing with you!
But what about all those fevered attempts
at trying to steal my Krabby Patty recipe?
Exactly.
They've all been just attempts.
And every single one a miserable failure.
l can feel my arteries clogging up with anxiety
just thinking about it.
Let me show you something.
Look at this place.
( groans )
Criminy, Plankton, you ever hear of spring cleaning?
What's the point?
Do you know when the last time l had a customer was?
Actually, I can't recall you ever having a customer.
Well, there he is.
That's why I've decided to quit the restaurant business
altogether and turn the Chum Bucket into... this!
You want to turn your restaurant into a pile of junk?
No!
These are knickknacks.
For the new gift shop l'm opening up.
( laughs )
Come on, this has got to be a joke, right?
I'm serious, Krabs.
Soon the Chum Bucket will be a nice little store
for bric-a-brac and bubble gum.
All right, Plankton.
But be aware, I'm not letting me guard down.
Guard away, my ex-enemy.
l'll just be here starting my new competition-free career.
( humming )
( muttering )
What's going on, Mr. Krabs?
Plankton's concocting another hair-brained scheme
to steal me recipe.
So keep your eyes peeled.
Whatever you say, Cap'n.
Now that's an employee who follows orders.
( loud jackhammering )
What in blazes is that noise?
Ah, would you look at that?
I have a feeling I'm gonna like this new life of novelty items.
Uh-huh.
Clever, Plankton!
Two can play at this game!
Mr. Krabs, look at this cool knickknack
I got at the Chumporium.
Hmm.
I know there's a microphone or camera in here somewhere.
( straining )
Uh, Mr. Krabs, I really don't think
there's anything weird in there.
Ah, we'll see about that.
I'll just put this in here for safekeeping.
You hear, Plankton?!
Join your other friends from the past.
Now nobody's getting to see anything.
Don't you understand?
This is all part of his ruse.
It's just cosmetic.
He thinks he can fake us out.
But we'll show him.
We're going to out-fake the faker.
( chuckles )
Well, it looks like old Plankton's
really going through with it.
I guess we don't have to worry about him anymore.
Yep, we sure whipped him this time.
Okay, boys, the coast is clear.
Plankton's turned over a new leaf.
That's some good news, Mr. Krabs.
It sure is, you little half-wit.
And you know what else is good news?
We could finally use that DJ system.
Hit it, SpongeBob.
Right away, sir!
Let's party!
( bass drum thumping )
( record scratching )
Ow! ( dance music playing )
I won! It's time to boogie!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
This is idiotic.
Dance, or you're fired.
You got it, Mr. Krabs.
How do you like them apples, you little...
( record scratching )
( humming )
Come on, buddy, let's get some shut-eye.
We've got a big day ahead of us at the Chumporium gift shop.
Wait a minute.
What the...?
Store shelves?
Novelty toys?
Lava lamps?
( gasps )
Useless knickknacks?!
Very convincing.
But I'm still not buying it.
You want to battle, Plankton?
I'm going to give you a war.
( humming )
Ah.
A clean snow globe is a happy snow globe.
( laughs )
Plankton!
You may have fooled everyone else,
you might have even fooled yourself,
but you ain't fooling me.
Oh. ( chuckles )
l get it. You caught me red-handed.
( laughs )
( sighs )
Those were the days, huh, Eugene?
Grr...
But I found there was more to life
than just trying to steal your formula.
And I found it all right here in novelty items.
Bubkes!
Oh, Eugene.
Stuck in your old ways.
Bubkes!
lf there's one thing that is certain in this world,
it's that you can't resist me formula.
You know
you want it.
Thanks, but no.
Aha! Aha! I knew it!
( chuckles )
It was all a trick to get me to hand over me...
Wait, did you say no?
Well, if you don't believe me, that's your problem not mine.
Problem?
I don't have a problem!
You're the one with the problem!
Look at this.
It means nothing.
lt's all a facade, a hoax, a con, a front...
( gasps )
...a sham, a snow job...
...baloney with a side of flimflam
and an order of jive.
See?
Who's the one with the problem?
Look what you've done.
This is my livelihood.
Sure it is.
And this isn't the formula that you don't want.
Come on, eh?
Eh?
Oop. Too slow.
( chuckles )
Get out!
( gasps )
Oh, I get it.
Stick to your guns, and eventually we'll all believe it.
Soften us up.
Then when our backs are turned, you'll make your move.
Oops.
What's this?
( groans )
Hey, Krabs!
I knew you'd come back.
You forgot something.
Can't you understand I've wasted so much time chasing after you?
And now I have something that's mine.
And it makes me happy.
I never thought I'd see the day.
What happened to the invertebrate I used to know?
What've I done?
( sobbing )
( phone ringing )
( shower knob turning, water stops )
Coming, coming.
Whew!
Yo.
KRABS: Uh, Plankton?
Eugene?
Uh, hey.
Hey.
Listen, uh, I just wanted to...
you know... apologize for my behavior today.
Wasn't right what I done,
and I realized I hurt the feelings of a...
( clears throat )
of, uh, someone I care about.
You still there?
Yeah.
I'm still here.
Heh, good.
Uh... I want to make it up to you.
What do you say we grab a soda?
Sure.
Glad you could make it, buddy.
So what's this about, Krabs?
( sipping )
I thought that since we're no longer archenemies, maybe...
maybe we can start over.
Yes.
Yes, I would like that very much.
I guess I won.
( both laughing )
Uh, I don't know about this, Plankton.
Oh, come on.
Just fall back.
Trust me, I'll catch you. ( chuckles )
( straining )
( panting )
That was truly amazing, Plank, old buddy.
I guess I really can trust you 100%.
Thanks, Eugene.
That means a lot to me.
And just to prove it to you,
I want you to have something.
No, no, come on, now.
No gifts.
No, no, I want you to have this.
It's me secret formula.
l can't believe you would even think...
But things are different now.
Honestly.
It would mean a lot to me.
You, you're serious.
( sniffling )
Eugene, if I take this formula from you now,
there will always be a hint of doubt.
Come on, take it.
You sure?
( sighs )
Life is good, Krabs.
Sure is, buddy.
Sure is.
Yeah, baby!
This is it!
Yeah!
Whoo!
Whoo-hoo!
( laughs )
Yeah!
I got it! I got it!
My diabolical, extremely convoluted plan worked!
I should have been a politician.
( laughs )
I never gave you the formula!
( laughs )
I fooled you with an even more convoluted charade!
( laughs )
( Plankton screaming )